Late-Night Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

Television's top hosts spent their airtime criticizing former President Donald Trump's recently launched visa program, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a obvious pay-to-play scheme for the rich.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Take

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday jingle directed at the president. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... spoils all he touches."

The focus was the controversial initiative which enables foreign individuals to acquire U.S. legal status for a sum of a million dollars, with a "premium" option for five million. The program's website pledges approval "faster than ever."

"A brief note for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also meant to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, with hefty payments. "That's a lot of fees, but if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let affluent international individuals to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining approval ratings during economic anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to tackle prices, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, and reacted strangely to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers reacted. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by mocking right-leaning news arguments of Trump's economic record. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.