The Advice shared by A Dad That Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was simply just surviving for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey expected to manage the demands of fatherhood.

Yet the truth soon turned out to be "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Serious health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into becoming her main carer while also taking care of their infant son Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every change… every walk. The role of mother and father," Ryan explained.

After 11 months he reached burnout. That was when a chat with his parent, on a public seat, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The direct words "You aren't in a good spot. You must get support. How can I assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and regain his footing.

His situation is far from unique, but seldom highlighted. While society is now more comfortable addressing the stress on mums and about post-natal depression, less is said about the challenges new fathers go through.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his difficulties are linked to a wider failure to open up between men, who still internalise harmful ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and remains standing with each wave."

"It is not a sign of weakness to seek help. I didn't do that quick enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, says men frequently refuse to accept they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not justified to be requesting help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental health is just as important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the opportunity to take a pause - taking a couple of days overseas, outside of the domestic setting, to see things clearly.

He understood he had to make a shift to consider his and his partner's emotional states as well as the practical tasks of looking after a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she needed" -holding her hand and listening to her.

Self-parenting

That insight has changed how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he wishes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son to better grasp the language of emotional life and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen did not have reliable male a father figure. Despite having an "amazing" connection with his dad, long-standing emotional pain meant his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says repressing feelings resulted in him make "terrible choices" when in his youth to alter how he was feeling, turning in alcohol and substances as an escape from the anguish.

"You turn to substances that don't help," he says. "They may short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Tips for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - if you feel overwhelmed, speak to a trusted person, your spouse or a therapist how you're feeling. It can help to lighten the load and make you feel less isolated.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the pursuits that allowed you to feel like yourself before the baby arrived. Examples include going for a run, meeting up with mates or playing video games.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - eating well, getting some exercise and when you can, resting, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Spend time with other first-time fathers - sharing their experiences, the messy ones, as well as the joys, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Remember that asking for help does not mean you've failed - prioritising you is the most effective way you can care for your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's committed not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead give the stability and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - expressing the frustrations safely.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become better, healthier men due to the fact that they confronted their pain, altered how they communicate, and learned to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and handling things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan says. "I said, sometimes I think my job is to instruct and tell you on life, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I am discovering as much as you are in this journey."